Sunday, July 27, 2008

What messages are you YOURSELF?

As I've stated in a previous post, the biggest challenge of losing a significant amount of weight is the mental component. And a huge part of the mental component is the messages, both verbal and non-verbal, that we send to ourselves.

Self talk, for example. Do you tell yourself things like "I can't do it" or "it's too hard" or "I'm not allowed to have that"? So you start to create self fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself "you can't" enough times, then when you mess up, in your mind you've just proven your point. It's a vicious cycle. Seriously, there is no shame in trying and failing. There isn't. But there is shame in failing because mentally you've convinced yourself it's inevitable. So when you start to tell yourself "you can't", just STOP mid sentence. Replace it with "I can" or "I am going to give it every effort". Imagine the power you can unleash when you start with self fulfilling prophecies based on THOSE messages.

And here's one that really get's me. Let's say somebody offers you something that is not the healthiest choice you could make. How many times have you said "I can't have that"? Here's my beef. First off, that's simply not true. You can absolutely have anything you damn well please. You have the choice. By saying "I can't have that", you've just handed the power and control over to some cosmic universal force that's deciding your food choices. A cosmic, universal force that DOES NOT EXIST. You've set it up on your mind so that something, basically a punishment, is being done TO you. But that's not what this is about. Not if you want to make lasting, lifelong changes. This is something YOU are doing FOR yourself, not TO yourself. OWN IT! You have the power. Realize it and harnass it! I don't think people realize the power they have! I know I didnt for way too many years of my life.

And what about the names we call ourselves? Do you ever call yourself "stupid" or "bitch" or "stupid bitch"? Be honest. I do it. I say I am not seriously meaning to put myself down, but what message am I sending myself? Would you talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself? Why do we insist on less respect from ourselves than we would expect from those who care about us?

There are non verbal messages we send ourselves, too. Like keeping clothes that are too big "just in case". Sure it would really suck to have to spend money to buy bigger clothes if we ended up gaining weight back. But if you keep the clothes in anticipation of that, you've already told yourself you will not be successful at keeping your weight off. Woah up there, Lightning. You just told yourself you know you will not be successful at losing your weight and keeping it off. So why are you even bothering to try if that's the kind of thing you believe? Would you tell your best friend she better keep her 'fat clothes' because surely she'll need them again? I sure hope not. So be your own best friend.

YOU are your best ally in this journey. Don't unwittingly become your worst enemy!


  1. great post. i really needed to hear that this morning. thanks

  2. Throw those clothes away and remember how expensive it'll be to put the weight back on!!

    Also, remember loosing it is expensive too so once you get there you have to stay there.

  3. Thank you for this post. I am so, so mean to myself, and could never say these things out loud to another person. And I need to turn it around and not assume failure.
    You rock!