Saturday, March 7, 2009

What if I say I will never surrender?

I'm borrowing song lyrics again. But that's what it comes down to. It's a battle between me and that nagging voice of self doubt that fills my head with crap. What if I say I will never surrender? Because, frankly, I won't.

The time for self-pity (and self-loathing) is over. O-V-E-R. It was over before I got some potentially good news on Thursday. I can't control it all. I can sure has hell control my actions, though.

Maria reminded me of something. This is easy when you got constant positive feedback. It's hard when that feedback is not so forthcoming. Well guess what? I'm not afraid of hard work. I'm not. I'm not afraid to continue to bust my ass every day. (Well almost every day. If it were actually every day The Evil One Legged Squat Monster would get on my case again...) I'm not afraid to face down the tough times. I am stronger than that. I am. (And I might just have 6.6 more pounds of muscle to prove it!)

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