This isn't just John Cena's tag line. This is how I have always made my way through the world. Not in some stealth-like super ninja way. I've just always been invisible. Or tried to be.
I was always content to not be noticed. I've said this before, and if you haven't been there it will sound really strange, but that was part of the weight--making a barrier. An invisibility cloak. And while I'm sure I was noticed for all the wrong reasons, it was a delusion to think that I was making myself invisible to the world at large.
So now it's odd and still sometimes very disconcerting to realize that people do notice me. I still consider myself way off the radar. I like being off the radar. I like floating through life, blissfully unaware that people are paying attention.
I've gotten used to "The Freak Show", and learned to accept it, even if I don't like it. I've learned to (internally, of course) laugh off some of the completely ridiculous things people say to me. I've learned to accept that, to some people, the only thing that puts me on their radar is that I've lost weight.
So today, when somebody at my Weight Watchers meeting turned to me on the way out and said "Ginny, it's really nice to see you smile again" I was reminded that (crap), people notice what I do. Or don't do, as the case may be. He certainly was not calling me out, and his comment just made my smile even bigger. But it was just a reminder to me that I am not invisible. And I'm dealing with it.
I am glad you've started posting again. I've enjoyed reading your posts, and I was disappointed when you went AWOL. I hope you're weight loss journey has begun to go as you would like it.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Sherry and I read your posts from time to time. This one really struck me because I remember being invisible. I lost my weight on WW and found how uncomfortable it was for me to deal with people noticing me.
ReplyDeleteMen and women were more helpful in department stores, I was now being asked if I needed help, smiled at more and I noticed that men's eyes wandered in my direction. People looked me in the eye more (or maybe I was actually looking back). All of this attention was not fun at first, it was scary and uncomfortable. I still find myself to look away first when I have encounters with strangers and I can't shake that feeling. Maybe I will always be that way, who knows.
I teach so I am used to being noticed but not in this way. I understand completely about feeling invisible. You are in the process of making a change for life and your are an inspiration.
Best of luck on this journey and thank you for giving us a voice. I look forward to more of your thoughts and your successes, because there WILL be successes. I promise.