Wednesday, July 11, 2007

How did I get so fat???

How did I get so fat?
I love to eat.
I hate to exercise.

Thanks for stopping by.

Okay but often hear people wondering 'how could he/she let himself/herself get so fat'? Well it's really not that hard. And it really does, at it's most simplistic, boil down to two things. Too much food and not enough exercise. Yes, there are psychological factors that go into it as well. For those of us who have a lot, like 100 or more pounds to lose, I really believe you need to find out not what is making you fat, but what is keeping you fat. We all know how to get rid of the excess weight, but we have we not done it for so long? Or done it long enough? Or kept doing it once we lost the weight?
I think it's those psychological factors we have to explore and really get somewhat figured out in order to have lasting success at this. I'm not talking about it's your mother's fault for how she made you clean your plate or your grandmother for making you take seconds and thirds or even McDonald's for having such tantalizing but fat-laden food. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves eventually. So while my mother's attitude about food definitely influenced MY attitudes about food, it's not my mother's fault that I got this fat. It's all the result of MY choices.
So why did I chose this? And yes, I DID chose this. But I'm not chosing this anymore.
I struggle with self esteem issues. Always have. I built this wall of fat to keep people out. If they get too close, they might just realize I'm a lousy person. If I keep that at arms distance I might be able to fool them.
I'm finally starting to see through my own bullshit. Whether Im as big as a house or as skinny as Nicole Richie, people may still think I suck. And then there may be people who think I don't.
But what really matters is what I think of myself. And today, anyway, I don't suck.

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