Saturday, July 28, 2007

Who am I?

So the topic at the weekly Weight Watchers meeting was all about identity. How do we identify ourselves? And how SHOULD we identify ourselves?
The message was, we need to stop identifying ourselves as the "fat me". If we can't ever overcome that identity, we will have a much harder time getting this weight loss thing to stick.
So who am I?
I admit it, today I am "the fat girl". I fully understand the point of the meeting, but for today I am that fat girl who has been fat as long as she can remember. The girl who knows that when she gets attention and heads turning when she walks in the room, it isnt because she's so damn hot. The girl who always has her defenses up because of the constant judgment she feels just walking down the hall. The girl who, when she gets even the slightest dirty look, will respond with a look that says "bring it on, I'll roll your ass in the parking lot" and means it. I'm not the jolly fat girl then, I'm the mean girl.
Today I am the fat girl. But the fat girl who, for three months, has been making fit and healthy choices that just aren't obvious to the rest of the world. The fat girl who doesn't like to exercise but does it anyway. The girl who is determined.
A determined fat girl.

1 comment:

  1. I know this is as old post but I had to comment. I completely relate with this. I think the key is continuing to push yourself to question why you feel the way you do and being accepting of the changes you find. I lost a bunch of weight about 1 1/2 years ago and it slowly crept back because I didn't change those views. Challenging my mind frame is the only way the changes will stick. I have to remind myself to ignore the fat girl in the corner of my brain all the time. I know that eventually she will quiet down.