Sunday, April 27, 2008

What if it turns out I'm ugly?

It's not that I think Im some beautiful thing now, not at all. But I don't really even know what they shape of my face is. It's always been round. But now it's looking like it might end up to be a little bit heart shaped. I have never been at anything remotely close to a healthy weight since I was about 6, so I just have no idea what I look like. And let me be blatantly honest here. As much as I am doing this for my health and to have a better quality of life, I'm just as much doing it for my appearance. (And anybody who says they are not losing weight at least in part for their appearance is full of crap.) So what if after all the fat falls from my face, I'm ugly? I would be lying if I didn't admit to thinking about that.
And not just my face. I'm worried about saggy skin, too. I know it's healthier to have saggy skin then taut skin filled with fat, but I also think as much as fat is not attractive to many men, neither will be loads of skin hanging off me. What if I can't have the surgery?
These are my real fears. I'm not going to let them stop me, but they are there in the back of my head. Not always the back of my head, either. I know better than to live my life worried about the 'what-ifs', so I'll do my best to not worry about what I don't know for sure I'll have to actually worry about. That's a waste of energy.
But it's there.


  1. I have had this exact thought over and over and over again. I have lots of thoughts that make me wonder. Can I lose 200 pounds and still be myself? Will I lose that weight and still feel fat? Will I always have to mentally slap my hand when I want to reach for a brownie? Will I resent people who treat me differently once I have lost weight? It's a big fear for me, so I understand that you mean. I do want to be healthier. I do want to be able to run up the steps without being winded. But dammit I am 25 years old and at the end of this I want to look good and be found attractive by attractive people. We all feel this way, it's just that you don't hear it because most people don't have the guts to voice those fears to the world.

    tnwhite2001 (200+ pounds to lose boards)

  2. Hi there fellow Weight Watcher. First of all CONGRATULATIONS on your fantastic weight loss.

    Although I only needed to 66 lbs (only 7 left to go), I too was concerned about the loose skin. So far so good. A little on my belly but my butt cheeks have joined my upper thighs & my boobs are threatening to play peek-a-boo with my belly button. No padding left on my hiney, so my butt hurts A LOT when I ride my bike. I just hope that if a man ever sees me naked, he won't run the other way!!! Oh well, small price to pay for being healthy.

    I would let you see my before & after photos but I don't know how to create a blog, but if you want me to I can email them to you.

    Good luck my friend.

    Carol Moore
    Jacksonville, Fl