Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Fat Girl is not going to win!

Today I mentioned to my friend at work that she needed to kick my butt. I didn't want to go to the gym.
Now mind you, Wednesdays are not normally gym days for me. And neither are Mondays. But I went on Monday for 45 minutes of cardio. And I had a headache that day. See this week I wanted to do a gym blitz. Go every day (except Friday, when I fully hope to be drinking beer with cute boys!) I just wanted to kick it up a notch this week, plus have a place to channel my nervous energy.
So this afternoon when I saw my friend and again mentioned I didnt want to go to the gym, she said to me "If you don't go, then the fat girl wins."
Well no way in hell is that going to happen. Not on MY watch.
So she also suggested I increase the incline for the high and low intensity segments. Well, you know me...(Karen for sure knows what's coming next!) That was basically throwing down the gauntlet. So I not only increased the incline, I added quite a bit more resistance. And did 5 minutes longer than I planned. Not that that's any big deal.
It's just that the fat girl was not going to win.

The fat girl isn't winning at the gym. And she's not going to win in the battle for my self esteem, either. She was getting close to it yesterday. Those awful "I'm good for nothing" thoughts that have haunted me for so long.
So bear with me. I'm going to list what I like about myself.

I have a great personality (usually!). I'm funny and upbeat. I'm get along well with most people. I've been told I make them feel comfortable and I'm easy to talk to. I'm genuine. Not one for false pretenses. What you see is what you get. I'm a straight talker. I say what I mean and mean what I say.

I'm a caring person. I would give anybody the shirt off my back or help in anyway they asked. If I recognize the need I try to offer the help before they even ask. I'm a nurturing person.

Physically I'm not where I want to be, of course. But I have a nice smile. And my eyes aren't so bad, either.

Okay that wasn't really as hard as I thought!


  1. Let me confirm and add to the list:

    * You do have a lovely smile. And gorgeous eyes. And you know exactly where I stand when it comes to "the girls." (The answer: far back.)

    * Allegedly you're a helluva baker, though I can't say I have any direct proof yet. (And considering I'm sosososoclose to a big goal, I don't wanna learn for myself right now!)

    * This I do know: You always recognize when the time for empathy is over and the time for ass kicking has begun. Thank God you aren't afraid to make that move.

    * You speak for all of us who are struggling... even when we're too afraid to speak for ourselves.

    * You also cheer for all of us, even when you're having a tough time yourself. That in itself makes you amazing.

    * You have more determination in your collarbones than most other people I know have in their whole bodies. (I know - I've seen them.)

    * You've managed to become a better friend to me in a few short months than many people who have known me for years... simply by being yourself.

    You have so much to be proud of - I'm glad you can finally see some of it. And if you ever need a reminder, come see me. Love ya, girl!

  2. Heather (Auntie1994)September 10, 2008 at 9:44 PM

    Well I think you are a great person and I applaud you for going to the gym every day. You have done great so far with the weight loss and you are an inspiration to me. Keep up the good work.

  3. Hey...

    I think you are awesome and an inspiration to us all!!!! I love your blog because I can totally relate to your feelings and thoughts. Keep up the good work! You look great!

    It's amazing how let the negative get us down so easily. I applaud you for listing things that you like about yourself! I think I am going to start doing that when I get in that crappy negative mode.

  4. I love this entry! I never looked at it this way :)