I was forced today to think about facing up to limitations. Over the previous two weeks I have greatly increased my workout time. By a lot. I'm doing this as part of a team challenge through my gym. My goal was to workout two hours a day for as many days as possible for the month of October. I knew it wasnt going to be easy, but I figured it would just take a lot of determination and really, I could do anything I wanted to if I just worked at it hard enough. Last night I found out it isn't always about just pushing through it when mentally you may not feel like it. Last night my body decided to remind me that I do, in fact, have limits. I pushed through the pain enough to finish my session with my Awesomely Evil Trainer, and even managed to eek out 30 more minutes on the elliptical (to add to the 30 I'd done before my training session), although it wasn't very fast. I woke up this morning to find the pain had not disappeared overnight, despite all my best efforts to will it away. So the first suggestion I got was, do not work out today. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I hated hearing it. I resented my body for doing this to me. I considered just going and working out anyway, but by the end of the day (which was spent hobbling around) I realized if I did that, I was probably just going to make things worse. So I didn't go. I accepted that my body was telling me it's okay not to take it easy. I am not the failure I have to fight not to believe I am. If I let my team down this week, I'm sorry.
But it also started me thinking about how often I might put false limitations on myself. I still have thoughts that I shouldn't do things because of what I look like. That I don't think I'm capable of something even though I've never tried it. Why? Why do I just assume these things to be true and place limitations on myself that DON'T need to be there? That's just stupid. Yet I still do it.