Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I'm just so tired....

I'm just going to lay it out there, and if this offends people...well, you can talk to me individually if you feel I've offended you.

I'm tired. I'm so, so tired. I'm tired of:
--feeling like I can't do this weight loss thing right anymore.
--feeling like everything I know I should do is turned upside down
--feeling that I have no control over anything anymore.
--getting paraded around like some circus oddity at the gym
--feeling like all the new people at the gym are staring at the fat girl, in total
bewilderment that she is actually working out.
--people coming up to me and telling what they eat or how much they lost last week.
--people saying the most random things to me, even if they think they're being
--being told I'm their inspiration. I don't want to be. Find somebody else.
--people feeling like they are on this journey with me and are therefore entitled
to every last detail. You're not and you aren't. Period.
--feeling like I don't quite fit in anywhere anymore.
--seeing how the people I've known the longest look at me differently, and not
always in a good way.
--feeling like I should be happy and perky all the time. (Clearly I'm not.)
--having people ask how I eat, what I eat, how fast I eat it, or if I should eat it
at all.
--feeling like I have one last straw to grasp at, and my grip is tenuous at best.
--feeling like my life now belongs to the public-at-large because I've accomplished
something that's visible.

I'm just so tired.


  1. Hi Ginny,

    Just wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you.


  2. I hope you find peace and come to a spot where you aren't so tired.

    Hearing of your journey has given me courage knowing that others have been there first. I'm sorry if that adds an unwanted burden to you. It's just nice knowing that I'm not the only one out there foraging a path.

  3. Hugs! I just wanted to say I am thinking about you!

  4. delurking after your powerful words.

    especially the inspiration one/phrase.
    blessing and a curse huh?

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