So last week was a "rest" week, per the orders of my trainer. (Rest being a relative term. I did still work out three days.) Time to recharge my body and my mind. And while the scale moved the right way this week, Im not getting my hopes up quite yet. But, I do feel better about things.
Last week over dinner after our beloved Cardio Funk class, my sage Jessica, when I started to whine (again) about how I'm a complete failure because I can't seem to control the scale right now, pointed out that perhaps I should give a little credit to the kind of workout I just did. And how I couldn't have done that a year ago. No matter what the scale says, I have made huge strides in my fitness level. Of course she's right.
If there is any lesson for me to take away from all this, and any lesson that maybe somebody reading can benefit from, it's that when things are getting hard, it's really easy to fall back in to the same patterns of thinking that made me use food as yet one more way to beat myself up. Thinking I'm a failure, that I'm not worth anything, blah blah blah. It's really easy to slip back into the old identity.
When the going gets rough, I'm not going to wuss out. I'm just not. When I'm working out I always tell myself to "finish strong" no matter how tired I am. So that's what I'm going to keep doing here.