I'm pretty sure at this point I've probably lost most of my followers. But that's okay, because when I started this blog, I never expected anybody to read it in the first place!
Okay, so what's the deal with me, anyway? Where do I start. I'll start by saying that things SEEM to be moving again. Seem to be. I'm cautiously optimistic. I first have to confess that after months and months (AND MONTHS) of a plateau, I started to slip up in the attitude department. I never gave up. EVER. But I started to make more bad choices than I should have, because I started to believe I had no control. But I know that's absolutely not true. Whether that stupid scale moves or not isn't in my control. Everything else is. So I'm back to being accountable. Perfect? No. Accountable? Yes.
This is such a mental process. Things have happened this past year that have rocked my confidence and chipped away at some of the progress I'd made in the self esteem department. It took me a little bit too long and way too much justification of some crappy behavior aimed my direction to come to the realization that it all had an effect on me and in turn, my work at losing weight. It made me want to be invisible again. Well, game over, creep. I've rebounded, and you're still a jerk.
But it just reminds me that I have to believe I'm worth all the effort, and yes, it is a lot of effort, for me to succeed at this.
It occurred to me today that despite my frustration, stall, slips ups, etc, that not once did it ever occur to me that I would not reach my goal. Never. Because I will. I don't know when. And that's okay. I just know I will.