Sunday, March 1, 2009

The reality is....

I'm starting to get a little consumed with the "I can't" mentality.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Nothing is working. Nothing. Please, really please, just spare me the "but look at what you've accomplished" comments, too. Because right now that means absolutely nothing to anybody, especially me. If you haven't been in this position, you wouldn't know how it feels to bust your ass every day, EVERY DAY and get nothing in return for it. They say to eat more. I do that. Nothing. They say add more protein. I do that. Nothing. They say take rest days. I do that. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I go to spin class this morning and truly felt like I had no business being there. None. At the start of the cool down, I quite literally had to fight back the tears. Because I just worked as hard as I could for 90 minutes of spinning and yet the message going through my head was "you're a fraud and a phoney and there is very little point trying to pretend otherwise. You're still too fat to spin."

This totally sucks.

7 comments:

  1. When you get the I can'ts in your head, take control, think positive thoughts and I can. Don't let the I can'ts get you down. The I can'ts are trying to take over and you have the power to put them in their place.

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  2. Sorry you're having a hard time. It took me years to reach goal and I had so many plateaus along the way. When I wasn't struggling with plateaus I was eeking out losses of less then .5 lbs per week. Most of us can accomplish anything when the reward is guaranteed, but sticking with it despite what the scale says, that's called perseverance. - Maria

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  3. Couple quotes that help get me through the rough spots:

    "The principle is competing against yourself. It's about self improvement, about being better than you were the day before." Steve Young

    "Always remember that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing." Abraham Lincoln

    "The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince." Vince Lombardi

    Hope there might be something in there that can help you, too.

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  4. Ginny....I've been going through what you are going through since last year! I've tried everything under sun to blast my metabolism back into the weight loss mode. I know "stick with it" is no consolation when your trying so hard. I have had numerous meltdowns over the last year. Thank God for my wonderful husband. He is so supportive!! I certainly could not have achieved my level of fitness without him! He always focuses my attention back to the positive things, like how I can run 3-4 miles now without stopping, cycling up hills without getting off my bike and walking, etc. I have stuck with it and while the scale moves slowly down like molasses..it is working. I still follow the WW plan but don't go to the meetings in Boerne because the WI lady just irritates the living hell out of me!! I know I shouldn't let someone like that bug me but I just can't take her smirks..when she can't possibly know how hard I bust my ass at the gym everyday!

    Anyways...I don't know what to say because I know sometimes nothing makes you feel better! Just try to focus on the level of fitness you've acheieved!!!

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  5. In my journey, I am down 160# with about 10-15 to go. At one point I struggled with a plateau for 6 months while doing all I could to move forward. It IS hard and it can be discouraging. It will change though. I think when we have a lot to lose our bodies just need some time to adjust once in a while and we can do nothing to make things go faster.

    Someone told me the other day, "In a journey of 100 pounds, 90 is half way." I believe it!

    When I get that voice in my head that you described, I tell it to shut the F### up!

    MJ

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  6. Gin, your in my prayers. I knew something was bothering you, I'm here in Maryland missing my friend. Kick the I can't and all the other shit to the curb, YOU CAN. No, I don't know exactly how you feel, but I can guess. I don't have the guts to do what you have and right now I just plain don't care. I respect you,keep your chin up and please talk to me.

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  7. Gin, your in my prayers. I knew something was bothering you, I'm here in Maryland missing my friend. Kick the I can't and all the other shit to the curb, YOU CAN. No, I don't know exactly how you feel, but I can guess. I don't have the guts to do what you have and right now I just plain don't care. I respect you,keep your chin up and please talk to me.

    ReplyDelete