I didn't weigh in today at Weight Watchers. I had planned on that. I made that decision, after talking with my consiglieres, because I need to find a little peace with the scale right now. And going in every week and getting a little bit of a smackdown is not bringing me peace. At all. Not any small bit of it. Yes, I know the scale isn't everything. TRUST me when I say I know that. I have now been lectured by exercise professionals, Weight Watchers staff, people who have lost a lot of weight, and my own doctor about this fact and that I should not be panicked about this, that I'm not panicked. Because I KNOW what I'm doing on my end. And I know it will catch up on the scale someday. But week after week, I go in there with such high hope that THIS IS THE WEEK I breakthrough, and when it doesn't happen, I am so deflated. I cannot begin to tell you how much it makes me feel like I'm failing at this. (And please spare me the 'no you aren't' lecture because my feelings are what the are, right wrong or indifferent.)
So I decided the scale can't have that power on me this week. And it may not next week. I'm still going to the meetings, and I'm still working as hard as I can at making the best choices. But when I'm struggling so hard right now to be able to celebrate what I HAVE accomplished, the weekly "you suck" from the scale makes that harder and harder to do.